The ins and outs of Yvo’s life.
October 31st, 2006 Yvo
Off of Slashdot.org, best comment I have read in a while.
This is the UK, as your constitution isn’t worth toilet paper now, we’re revoking your independence:
To the Citizens of the United States of America:
In light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories (excepting Kansas, which she does not fancy). Your new prime minister, Tony Blair, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. You should look up “revocation” in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up “aluminium,” and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in will learn to spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters, and the suffix will be replaced by the suffix “ise.” You will learn that the suffix ‘burgh’ is pronounced ‘burra’; you may elect to respell Pittsburgh as ‘Pittsberg’ if you find you simply can’t cope with correct pronunciation. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels (look up “vocabulary”). Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as “like” and “you know” is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.
2. There is no such thing as “US English.” We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter ‘u’ and the elimination of “-ize.”
3. You will relearn your original national anthem, “God Save The Queen”, but only after fully carrying out Task #1 (see above).
4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. November 2nd will be a called “Come-Uppance Day.”
5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you’re not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you’re not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you’re not grown up enough to handle a gun. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
6. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
7. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling “gasoline”)-roughly $6/US gallon. Get used to it.
8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called “crisps.” Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with mayonnaise but with vinegar.
9. Waiters and waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.
10. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as “beer,” and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as “Lager.” American brands will be referred to as “Near-Frozen Gnat’s Urine,” so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
11. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in “Four Weddings and a Funeral” was an experience akin to having one’s ears removed with a cheese grater.
12. You will cease playing American “football.” There is only one kind of proper football; you call it “soccer.” Those of you brave enough will, in time, will be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American “football”, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the “World Series” for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable.
13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us mad.
14. An internal revenue agent (i. e. tax collector) from Her Majesty’s Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776). Thank you for your co-operation and have a great day.
15. Start pronouncing “Queen Camilla.” She will be your next queen!
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October 5th, 2006 Yvo
Ok I am no parent. However with organizations such as the Parents Television Council of America, it really shows how overprotective a parent in this country is.
Lets take a look at Parentstv.org, PTC’s official website. On their website you can look up a TV show and see what they, the council, review it as. You have a green, yellow and red light. Compiled from sub categories such as Sex, Language and Violence. All terribly bad things apparently.
For example the show House, about a doctor who uses questionable tactics to cure his patients with a team of doctors. The scenes can be graphic, I’ll admit (anything involving an eye… YUCK!). The PTC rates this their worst rating, RED! It gets a red for sex and language. A yellow for violence (even though in almost every episode the patient is restrained and shock, Dr. House was shot in Season 2’s finale episode, even showing the blood stains in Season 3’s 1st & 2nd episode).
Now lets take a look at 7th Heaven, voted Green all across the board. Meaning it gets the PTC’s blessing. How in the world could this show get a green. A show about a protestant reverend, his wife and their many children. I say many. They have seven children. That is abnormally high. The parents can be considered rabbits with the way they procreate. Then on top of that, all of their childeren seem to get married 2 years out of high school, on average. Oh and the oldest daughter, Mary, has seemingly cheated on her husband AND then cheated on her lover who she chose to stay with. Is this the thing you want to teach your children?
In conclusion, I’d rather have my kids watch House or War at Home and teach them that TV is FICTION then to show them 7th Heaven, which according to the PTC, “The Rev. Eric Camden and his wife, Annie, have created an atmosphere conducive to honesty and open communication.”. If I want my TV to teach my children I’ll turn on Discovery, but most importantly I know I will have failed as a parent if I need to show my kids 7th Heaven in order for them to learn a lesson or two.
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February 18th, 2006 Yvo
Exactly one week ago it was my birthday, my big 21 as a lot of people would say. In America that means only one thing to many, finally being able to legally drink and no longer having a zero tolerance policy (it’s been upped to 0.08).
What I find funny is that when I order or buy alcohol now I get carded each and every time. I haven’t bought alcohol yet without being carded. As opposed to my debit card which has “SEE ID” written on the signature line, no one ever asks me for ID. I bought something at Fry’s and easily spent over $100, didn’t get asked for ID. It’s so bad that Cam can take my card and buy stuff with it. Only once has she been asked for ID with my debit card and that was when she was buying food for herself.
I understand that waiters, liquor stores and what not can get into a lot of trouble for selling alcohol to a minor, however aren’t they losing money by accepting fraudulent credit/debit cards. These employers need to start training their employees to ask for ID when they are presented an unpictured debit/credit card, however I think were still far off from that day.
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February 17th, 2006 Yvo
I wonder what people hate hearing from their boss. Unfortunately I don’t have any ‘readers’ to have this question answered. There are many things (good and bad) you can hear from management. Over the 5 years that I have joined the work force I’ve heard a lot of ‘em (but I bet not all). These are probably the top 3 I heard being said at one point or another.
The top 3….
1. Being told that you might be fired or “your not fired yet” by your boss. No one likes to be told that their job is on the line. Sure one could look at being fired is worse, but is it? At least then the mandalin already came falling down on your neck. Threatening is like torture. I’d pick death over torture any day. Personally it would make me feel insignificant, worthless and scared about my job and if next month’s bills will be paid.
2. Being told it will come in the future or in the coming months. This is the type of technique used to very often delay a request by employee(s). Whether its a promotion, pay raise or just needing stickies for your cubicle. Personally it would make me lose confidence in my boss.
3. Being told that if you try to go somewhere else you will get a bad reference. Oh I bet this has happened to the best of us. It has happened so often that in many states (including Washington) this is completely illegal. If someone comes checking for a reference the only information that the previous employer is allowed to disclose is the fact that he/she did work for the company, position and the tenure at the company. Any bad references that isn’t backed up with hard evidence could be seen as slander as it is the opinion of one person at the company (It’s technically even not allowed to disclose the good, but no one would complain would they :-)).
So that is my top 3. I bet it’d be terrible if your boss had said all those things to you. However it wouldn’t surprise if some have indeed been told all of the items on my top 3 from their boss.
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June 12th, 2005 Yvo
Yup it is true, Apple will use Intel processors in their next generation computers. By June 6, 2006 (06-06-06 anyone, aka 666) Apple will have released at least one Intel powered Mac.
For the non nerdy, Apple has been using an architecture called PowerPC since 94 and before that the Motorola 68k architecture. While PC has been using the x86 architecture invented by Intel (386, 486, 586 (Pentium), 686 (Pentium II - Pentium 4), 786 (Pentium D - and on). In lamens terms architectures are different languages. x86 speaks French, whereas PowerPC speaks German. Now this isn’t the exact differences, however saying that they speak different languages seems a little easier to understand without going into detail.
Basically the big reason why Apple is switching over to Intel is because IBM (the current PowerPC chip supplier) isn’t making the chip fast enough and the G5s (sort of like the Pentium 4, only in apple land aka Generation 5) are very hot aka they create a TON of heat. The high end Powermac currently requires watercooling to function properly. No Intel computer needs this plus the Pentium M in laptops are very efficient with heat. In other words, completely opposite of what Apple has at this moment in time. So Apple looked at the future of PowerPC and just didn’t see it anymore. Will this mean the PowerPC will be unsupported? Nope. First of all PowerPC will be supported for the next 5-6 years (at least). Apple even has new PowerPC products coming out. Apple will do this by having all programs by developers be developed with Xcode that can create “universal” binaries, meaning they can run on both Intel & PowerPC.
All applications for the next decade will be developed for the PowerPC so Intel needs help in running old PowerPC applications (as PowerPC was first) and Apple has a solution to that as well. They call this Rosetta. Apparently it will translate the PowerPC language to Intel. The PowerPC architecture won’t need this as I said, they were first and new applications will continue to be developed for the PowerPC as 95% of current Macs (some are still running 68k) are PowerPC and to abandon the platform when its only a checkbox away (see above) would be stupid. This transition is supposed to be transparent for the consumer. I hope that will be the case. I am still happy with my Mac and I know that my system will be good for the next 5-6 years but there are a lot of consumers that will see this as an “End of Life” product. They are wrong.
Here is FAQ written that will answer most, if not all questions…
PPC to Intel - F.A.Q.
This is going to open all kinds of new possibilities for Apple. Microsoft Windows also runs on the x86 architecture. What will this do for Apple? Well Mac OS X (the operating system) will continue to only run on Apple built computers (of course someone will hack it but without Apple drivers… good luck), but how about Windows on a Mac or better; Windows WITHIN Mac OS X. This will allow business to continue their current Windows applications but enjoy the stability and beauty of Mac OS X. Sure this is available now but it is very slow as it has to convert PowerPC to Intel by a virtual layer. However now it wont have to convert anymore and most applications will be able to run at 80-90% of their current speed. If Apple plays their game right (and lately they have, they came late to the market with the iPod and now own 76% of the market):
It’s an exciting time once again for a company that almost went bankrupt in the mid 90s. I’m glad and proud to be an owner of an Apple iPod and iMac. Soon my own brother will (hopefully) own a new iBook by Apple.
Oh btw… the guy in all the pictures is Steve Jobs, CEO (and Co-Founder) of Apple. He was fired in the mid 80s and rehired in 1997 when Apple bought NeXT.
This presentation took place on Monday June 6th at the World Wide Developers Conference (WWDC) for Apple.
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June 1st, 2005 Yvo
Well tonight Holland was in the news a lot. The reason being is that yesterday they voted for the ratification on the European Union constitution. However the EU hasn’t been good to Holland the last few years (even though it was a founding member) as the alliance and union has become to big and Holland feels that they have lost their voice in the middle of it.
Holland was the second country to reject the constitution. France being the first country. However Holland delivered the flying blow the EU constitution. Even though it required all member countries to say yes, 2 no’s is just an automatic death. The final percentage was 63% and unlike the US where it seems young adults (18 - 24) don’t give a damn about politics, there was a 70% turn out among the same age group in Holland. There was a 62% overall (among all age groups) turnout for voting, showing that the country really cared about this.
As a dutch citizen, and a citizen of the european union, I am glad that they voted no. I am very happy for the one currency (even though it has hurt the dutch economy instead of improving it) I think it should stop there right now. Trade has improved among the countries and so has traveling but I think unionization of Europe should stop. However I think they have made amazing process. Considering 60 years ago there was a huge war going on and Europe has been at constant bickering with each other since the Roman empire up until the 1940s… finally it is quiet. If anything it should show everyone that differences can be put aside if we all work together.
One of the MANY American news outlets covering this story:
http://edition.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/europe/06/02/dutch.poll/
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May 28th, 2005 Yvo
The other night I had thoughts flying through my head and one was, is my career choice the right one.
Since then Cam has told me that I shouldn’t that far into the future but I can’t resist the thought on what will happen in the next 20 years.
Bare with me here… but it will make sense in a moment.
If you told anyone 20 years ago, May 28th 1985 that some day most of the world’s work will be done via a computer at everyone’s desk or that information is available almost instantly on a network called the internet they would just laugh at you. Yes the first .com internet domain was registered on 03/15/1985 but it wasn’t like it was world news back then. Maybe an article in the popular science, but that is about it. Alright so lets speed up back to the present…
Having said that, is it really that hard to imagine what computers or technology will do for us in general 20 years from now. Considering I’ll only be 40, I will still be working at a job. It isn’t like I am close to retiring. The field I pursuing is a risky one. How is it risky? Sure computers will be around and are here to stay but don’t forget that these same things we call computers once took an entire floor of a moderately sized building to function correctly. But considering computers are getting more and more complex concurrently they are getting easier and easier to fix due to the current generation being so computer savvy. Currently the console gaming industry are designing next gen consoles for the gaming crowd. Gamers now expect so much from their consoles that they want more power, better graphics, etc etc etc. It is even getting to the point where gaming consoles will be better and more computer then your computer in the family room. A word processor doesn’t require a quadruple core 3.2 GHz processor, but a game that has to be realistic sure does due to the complex code & graphics that has to be processed by the GPU / CPU. So what does this mean you ask? When the playstation 3 is released early next year or the Xbox 360, the computing power in the console will be about as powerful as 1% of a human brain. Yes believe it or not, human brains are still more powerful then a computer processor. Sure that Pentium 4 or AMD Athlon can do an equation faster then a human brain but we have a lot more going on. Ever factor in vision, hearing, touch, speech or thought? A computer is good for looking up information but that is it, for now.
If we factor in Moore’s law, which states that technology doubles in performance every 18 months, that 1% might not seem like a lot but lets put it into perspective..
January 2006 (estimated and easier for math) - Xbox 360 is released, 1% the processing power of a human brain
July 2007 - 2% processing power
Jan 2009 - 4%
Jul 2011 - 8%
Jan 2013 - 16%
Jul 2015 - 32%
Jan 2017 - 64%
Nov 2017 - ~100%
Jul 2019 - 128%
Basically after November 2017, the computer as a system will be smarter then us humans. Sure this is all a theory or it might never happen, but they probably said that 20 years ago or 50 years ago when we decided to go to the moon. However if you put it into perspective this is more possible then you think. Our generation and every generation hereafter is going to have the greatest challenge to humans to date. We will be the creators of a superior machine / being then that to a human being. Considering a lot of humans have a tendancy to stick with the old ways you can already imagine the amount of laws, discussions, activist groups, etc etc that will come from all this. So I know I am speculating but getting back at to what I originally was worried about. Will there even be a job for IT people 15-20 years from now or is it a job that will just fade away, especially once a computer starts to figure out how to clean it self up or knows how to block an internet attack from a punk kid in a suburb of (insert city here). I guess time will tell….
Alright thats enough futurecasting for me tonight,
Yvo
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March 18th, 2005 Yvo
I don’t write many of these, one reason is because editorials only cause problems. However something has come to my attention that should be addressed.
At my work our server is backed by what we nerds call Linux, or an alternative operating system. Linux is based off of Unix and was created by Linus Trovalds. Now not to bore the nerds, but Linux is free to develop and everyone can look at the sourcecode (raw guts of a program) and tweak it. Some companies such as Linspire (formally Lindows, got sued by Microsoft for sounding too much like Windows), Red Hat (the enterprise version) and SuSe sell Linux distributions because they include a nice look and have a bunch of useful (mostly free) programs on a CD. Also when you purchase a distribution instead of downloading a free one, you get a thing called support and we all love support. However they still provide the source code and everyone with adequate knowledge can look at their code. If they use the code in their own project they must credit the original author, then it is perfectly legal.
Well my point is something that I mentioned earlier. Microsoft has a thing called CLOSED source which means that the soure code (remember… raw guts, insides, etc.) is not allowed to be seen by the general public and only by those employed by Microsoft and they will make sure that if it ever leaks that the person responsible for leaks will not be a very good situation. You are better off committing tax fraud then trying to sell Microsoft code. However there are also companies out there that are developing products based on OPEN source and making it closed source. One very great example is CherryOS. CherryOS is a platform emulator (not an OS emulator). It emulates the Mac platform so one can install an Apple operating system such as Mac OS X. Seems like a great idea… too bad that an open source project named PearPC has released a project almost a year ago that does the same thing. Sure it could be two different projects, until you start looking at the guts of CherryOS. There are many lines and references that PearPC in their project still in CherryOS. Long explaination short… CherryOS ripped off PearPC’s code and is selling it for $49.95 and is actually worse then PearPC’s code.
My point to all this. The people stealing the product have money, lawyers, etc. Opensource projects most of the time do not have funding and are merely hobbies of full time programmers (a lot of linux programmers work at IBM, Microsoft, insert company here) so when someone rips them off… they are SOL. I find that repulsive that a company would do something like that and then deny it. It is like Ted Bundy saying that he never killed anyone when the blood is literally on his hands.
Hopefully in the near future something can be done about this. Until then I hope open source projects keep getting developed. They are an asset to the community. Like I said before my work uses Linux and it has saved us a lot of money. Sure it’s not as compatible and easy to learn as say… Windows, but it is more powerful and cheaper when it is setup and ready to go. Something that can’t be said for Windows as that is completely reverse. Windows is easier to setup but you constantly have to manage and look over its shoulder to see what it is doing.
Yes a nerdy editorial but it was bugging the hell out of me.
I’m done ranting for today. I think.
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February 9th, 2005 Yvo
Yup… Battlestar Galactica has been renewed for a second season. It isn’t known whether if it will be a full season (24-26 episodes) or a half season (13 episodes). However… the biggest mystery… on what network it will run. Many don’t know but Sci-fi is owned by NBC Universal. Yup… NBC.. home of ER, past success of Friends, Frasier and too many other shows to list. Also home of the original Star Trek during the 60s which they cancelled after 2 years (ugh its an annoying show). Anyways… back to the subject. A few weeks ago NBC ran the cut version of the Battlestar Galactica pilot movie. They basically almost ripped a hour from the original movie that aired over 2 nights back in 2003 on Scifi. The movie was VERY successful on NBC and was number in almost all rating slots for that night. For the last 4 weeks Scifi has been airing the first season (13 episodes, which already finished airing on UK’s Skyone) with record numbers each week, last episode setting another record for highest rating for a mid season episode (since season premieres/finales normally have higher ratings, this episode had higher ratings then Stargate Atlantis season premiere, Sopranos season finales and BSG season premiere)… I think NBC didn’t really realize that they had a cash cow on their hands….
So now the rumor mill churns a little bit more. NBC is interested in airing the 1st & 2nd season on its own network (and stations) as a lot more people have a NBC affialite as station (channels 2-13) rather then an expanded basic cable channel (Scifi). Which means more ratings & money for NBC. I personally do NOT like this idea. Normally episodes that run on a affiliate network have to perform a lot better, have slimmed down content (because people are easier offended as a lot more people watch local channels).
I am happy none the less. Battlestar Galactica has been renewed for a 2nd season and that is GREAT news. It is a great show and it caters to a lot of crowds. This show has a lot going for it self and it really gives everyone a reason to get cable once again instead of watching repeats of Law & Order on TNT on Friday night… give BSG a try at 10pm.
In other news…. Enterprise, the Star Trek based shows that made most trekkies scream for their parents, was finally cancelled this week. Finally…. I just hope that they can come out with a trek series like they had running in the 90s and start catering to the fans a little more.
Signing off,
Yvo
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